last nite some things really hit home…
after listening to Doug Banister (our Pastor at All Souls Church) make clear the Truth in Luke 4:1-13, i was in complete enlightenment as to what is going on in my life righ now. i won’t go into detail about myself, but let’s just say a whole TON of changes are going on in my life…all of which are good because i’m in full dependence and surrender to the Lord…
one ot the many things i struggle with is being afraid i’m not truly hearing Him and only moving out of my own will…beacuse of this, i am often very slow to realize i’ve been striving to make things “right” and living in disobedience to the One who is trying His hardest to move me. He, however, is faithful to remind me that i hear and know His voice. especially after being told i was “listening and hearing satan speak” not too many years ago…God has made His voice so so so clear to me now. When it’s Him speaking, i know it’s Him.
well, this morning i wake up at 7:17 (God and I have this thing with numbers…He speaks a lot through numbers to me…not sure how He speaks to you as an individual…) but anyways, since it takes me a while to realize…oh wait, i’ve been seeing 7:17 for like the past week, every single day. what are you trying to show me God? well, in Romans 7:17, Paul is speaking of the law and sin and how he doesn’t “understand his own actions. for i do not do what i want, but i do the very thing i hate…so now it is no longer i who do it, but sin that dwells within me. for i know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, my flesh. for i have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. for i do not do the good i want, but the evil i do not want is what i keep on doing.” -Romans 7:15,17-19…story of my life.
now going back to Luke 4:1-3, Jesus is being tempted by the devil after spending 40 days in the wilderness. Doug points out that no mission is ever fulfilled without resistance; even the first adversary Jesus faces is temptation. Satan tries to get Him when He’s at the lowest point in His life…completely broken, starving to death, fatigued beyond definition. Here, however, Jesus is being prepared for His life mission…He’s in a place of weariness, temptation, and trial. in the same way, the Lord uses these times in our own lives to set the foundation in place for our life mission…which brings me to a place of rest in not resisting this chiseling and refining process.
Lord, help me not resist. the deepest longing of my heart is to be wholy and fully Yours 100%.
but yet, i am an idolater. i look to others for significance, approval, and acceptance. wanna know the irony in that? i live in self-protection mode. i rely on these walls i have built up aroud me instead of trusting God to protect me. i compare myself to others and think i must not be good enough.
but first, as Doug said last nite, I must know that I am His beloved…I am His and He is mine. i am filled with the Spirit and led by Him and have full access to living in His power. that’s where i am going to overcome this life i live in the law. this life of slavery to myself…to self-protection and insecurity. this life i live of desiring to be fully alive and vulnerable to living and pouring out; this life i live of desiring to be fully secure in who i am and who He has made me to be; this life i live of desiring to live in the reality of my liberty…it can and will be lived with the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in me, because “it the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” -Romans 8: 11
therefore, cling to the truth that, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” -1 Corinthians 10:13….
“Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.” -1 Corinthians 10:14
Shalom.
